Booties and Bullets

When you absolutely positively have to kill every muthafucka in the room, accept no substitutes

Well Damn

I love sex as much as the next man, but sometimes it just ain't that serious.

Where the mind goes, the heart will follow

Had to borrow this one from my patna Gator.

"Never make moves until your heart and mind are in agreement"

How things change

I will never diss Whitney Houston, mainly because I don't want to get jumped by my momma and my auntie. She was their Beyonce, well with a much better voice and more talent, but yall get the point. I had such a crush on her back in the 80s when I saw her in the I wanna dance wit somebody video. Time to let it go Whitney. Damn you Bobby Brown, damn you. Let this be an example of what happens when you destroy your body with drugs, cigarettes, liquor and living the fast life.

Floacist

Feelin the music but not the album cover. I think she looked better with weight and hair on her head. But that's just me. Fantasia isn't the finest thing to me, but she sho can sang so i guess its all about the sound and not the image. But hey I'm no Denzel myself.

Saying Goodbye......

Had to borrow this from @MiyaBailey

They say everything comes to an end...people come and go out your life like seasons...the change all humans need for rebirth... And birth hurts... A pain we never look foward too... The pain of saying "goodbye" Life takes us in different directions.... People grow apart and emotions don't stay the same....letting go and moving on can be beautiful yet saying "goodbye" is the pain we all run from....wisdom sets in after mistakes are made...change creates a new you.... Goodbye.
Until the next time, live life abundantly.

Pursuit of Happyness

The one thing about being Iraq is that you get to spend a lot of time alone with your thoughts. Now this can be a good or a bad thing. Self analyzing is always good, but an idle mind can also be the devil's work shop instead of God's factory. Sometimes I think about the effect that my immaturity and bad decisions have had on my soon to be ex wife. Believe it or not, at one point in my life I was an "Ain't Shit Nigga." I did a lot of stuff to her that I am not proud of. I think about what the next dude she has a relationship will have to deal with because of me.

It doesn't take me long to figure out because I've had to deal with the same issue with women that I've been involved with in the past. I also have had actions and reactions that were the result of past relationships. Last summer a very good friend of mine told me that I sabotage my happiness. 27 at the time, I hadn't figured something that simple out. A good thing could come and slap me in the face and I'll tell it to keep it moving because I didn't feel like I deserved it. Just like many people, I too have let other people decide whether or not I will be happy.

We all try to lie to ourselves and say that we won't live in our pasts, but we are creatures of habit. After getting burned by the hot stove enough, you will quit touching it. Same with relationships. After enough heartbreak you will shut down and make yourself unavailable to new people that come in your life. But heartbreak is the beautiful thing about life. If everything was perfect and went right, life would be boring. Pain keeps you mentally agile and keeps life interesting. The goal is to not let it hinder you from moving forward. Sometimes for you to grow, that person you are dealing with has to go. Keep the good lessons and throw out the bad. Making somebody pay for the mistakes of somebody else is never cool. Its kind of like going to the drive through and the person at the window says you have to pay for the lunch of the person that was in front of you and is long gone. Until the next one, live life abundantly.

Runaway

How Kanye feels about the bird is how I feel about a certain somebody. I had a long blog in mind but I'll keep this one simple

Flawed

It took me a while, but I realized that I am a very flawed individual. I make a lot of mistakes and there were times that I went left when I should gone right. My desire to please people left me empty a lot of the times. If it meant lying I did it, if it meant going broke I did it and the choices that I made when dealing w/ women were sometimes questionable. Many times I just did too much or not enough. I figure that if doing wrong got me in some of these fucked up positions, I'm going to try and see what doing right will get me. At the end of the day I just want to live a simple life; watch my kids grow up and grow old with my lady. Sabotaging my happiness will not get me there. Until the next time, live life abundantly.

Keeping it real

I see its been a while since I emptied my brain on here. A lot has changed since I last posted something. I'm still in this shit hole called Iraq. I moved to a new location a few months back. My work hours have increased as well as my stress level. My gym time decreased drastically and I'm only averaging about one full meal a day so I've lost 10 lbs. I go on RnR and I can't wait. I need it, because I'm burned out. When I get back I'll have 3 months left in country when I get back.

For once I'm actually looking forward to the future. I usually live day to day because thinking about my career, my kids, my impending divorce, and a certain somebody (who shall remain nameless till my divorce is final) was just getting to be too much. I have to tell myself everyday that I just need to go w/ the flow and quit making my own plans because in the end it will be up to the Good Lord.

I know one thing is for certain, it feels damn good to have a person in my life that i can be 100% honest w/. For the longest time I had issues w/ trust because I was always worried about the consequences. I used to lie to my soon to be ex wife on a regular basis because I just didn't want to deal w/ her attitude. A lot of people kill their relationships with other people because they don't know that impact out weighs intent. You can mean one thing, but it can be perceived differently.

I may not have it all the way together but I win more than I lose and that's all that matters. Well until the next time I decide to put in my random 2 cents, live life abundantly.

Oh yeah, the reasoning behind the pic is that that is my image of what a partnership should be. Two people loving each other, and not constantly attacking each other because of insecurities.

Re Eval

So I failed today. Did something I haven't done in over 4 years. Failed a timed 2 mile run. I could make a lot of excuses as to why I didn't pass. I'm flat footed, got 2 messed up ankles that effect the rest of my body. In turn I have to work extra hard at what comes with ease to people with normal lower extremities. But I won't bitch because I'm healthy and I have to feet and 2 legs where as some people don't have that. Because I failed, somebody who I respected told me I don't deserve to be in the position I'm in. I'll take it as constructive criticism, but I will not let anybody tell me what I do and do not deserve. I've been at the bottom many times and I've never given up on life. Its just time to regroup and refocus. Time work past the point of pain and break my body down then build it back up. I hate losing and i refuse to make same mistakes.

90 days in

So 3 months down and 9 to go. Finally started running on a somewhat regular basis. It hasn't been easy since I'm out of cardio shape. I miss the days when I could run 2 miles with no problem. Stepped on the scale and I'm up to 198. 42" chest and 15 1/2" arms. Put up 225 4 times with no help so I'm getting stronger. I think I might cut back on the supplements and just go with protein. It's getting expensive and I've got other things I need to save my money for. Well that's all for now. Holla back in a month.

Month 2

Month 2. Time has been going by at a decent rate. Finally started running. Not consistently but I started. This gut just doesn't want to go away. Been hovering around 195. Same supplements, Creatine, ZMA and Protein.

1 More Rep

So I've been working out consistently since I've been deployed. Mostly lifting. Haven't done a lot of cardio like I should. The weather hasn't been cooperating. Running is not one of my favorite things to do anyways. I might add some more circuit workouts to my routine. Today I ordered some ZMA. Its a Zinc and Magnesium supplement that boost your testosterone. I'm trying to keep it strictly natural. I just ordered one bottle so we will check the results and see whether or not I will keep up with it. I'm not using any pro-hormones or steroids. It makes lifting a little harder and more frustrating but I don't want the side effects that come with it.

Lifting weights has been my therapy. Being deployed is never easy. It's like doing time. So I keep my mind occupied. I just like going and being able to make changes to my body. I remember being the skinny kid in high school that was never popular with the females. I was 144 when I joined the Army about 5 years ago. now I'm 193. Looking good is nice, but I appreciate the health benefits that come with it. The big challenge will come when I get back to the States and I have all the distractions of the world. I'll most likely join a gym, since I know if I pay for it ill be more inclined to go. Plus I might look into MMA. Its the latest craze, but it gives you the best all around work out. Well that's all from .the Cradle of Civilization. Until the next one, be easy

Ride

Another low low budget from Ciara. She wasn't lying when she said she knows how to market sex. I wish she knew how to step outside the box. The video appeals to me on the lust level but nothing else. The chopped and screwed element is played out and over done and I'm wondering if Luda is the only rapper in the A that she knows. I ain't hatin, im just observin. The word hate get's tossed around a little too much. Ah well Ciara will never be able to tell me to appreciate women for their minds more than their bodies. But I would like to thank her for givin me some eye candy while im doin this 12 month bid.

1 month down 11 to go

So I've been deployed for a month now and I've been exercising regularly. Mostly lifting weights. I haven't been able to run due to the weather making the area I'm in too muddy. Trying to keep a routine diet has been hard. The food at the chow hall isn't the best quality and the lines are super long. Most of the time I just drink protein shakes and eat cup o noodles. I've decided to use natural supplements such as protein and creatine. It makes lifting harder but I'm not trying to murder my liver. I weighed 186 when i deployed, now I'm weighing in at 194. 6lbs of good weight gained. Once i'm able to run on a regular basis ill be able to cut out the rest of this fat. The progress is slow but its coming. Go Hard or Go Home. Holla at yall next month.

Break to build

So I've dedicated this year in Iraq to improving my body. Before I deployed I got pretty damn lazy. Wasn't really doing a lot of PT and I was eating very unhealthy. Lot's of fast food on a regular basis. Plus i was dealing with the stress of other things in my life. I have no excuses now. I have plenty of time to hit the gym. So I will be updating my progress. As you see my before pic isn't looking too good. I will lift 6 days a week, attempt to run 3 days a week and rest on Sunday. The only supplements I will use are Protein and Creatine. And maybe a fat burner. Hopefully there will be a drastic change from what you see now to what you see at the end of my deployment. Well that's all for now. Holla at you next month

Petty

Why do some people have to be so petty? Petty people will fight you over $10.48. Petty people will remind you of your past when you aren't even thinking about it. Petty people will go out of their way to be negative. Petty people will use other innocent people as pawns. Petty people go out of their way to be difficult. Petty people don't know how to move on. Quit being petty please

Free Les

I seriously get tired of seeing a rapper or entertainer get locked up for something they deserve to get locked up for and folks be rockin a Free (name of rapper) shirt. How bout yall free me. On my second deployment to Iraq. It's a year this time and not 15 months like the last one. I can't complain because this is the life I signed up for. This is how I support my kids. A deployment is like doin a bid without the bars. The key to making it is keeping your mind occupied. If you don't this place will play some serious tricks on your mind. The first month is the hardest. Establishing a routine is a must.
The thing that sucks the most is that the outside world is still moving while yours is stuck in one place. Its easy to think that the people back home have forgotten about you. Getting a letter, long email or a care package is gold. This business is not for the weak minded. I've seen all kinds of scandalous things. Husbands and wives cheating. Spouses spending all the money and the service member comes home with nothing. Its an ugly world out there. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about home, my kids and a certain somebody I'll refer to as A.
This year will be focused on working out, reading, school, and saving money. Speaking of which I will be blogging my weight loss and muscle gain progress. As always I keeps it real so if you can't handle the truth then stop reading. Holla back.

Me Being Me

Salt

My boy just sent me this email about the infamous Sprite Step Off

Sounds like Sprite felt the anger of the negro. Below is the statement that Sprite released on Facebook Wednesday:

The Sprite Step Off was initially created as a way to recognize talented college students and give out scholarships to help support their higher education. If we put on some entertaining step shows and brought people together along the way, all the better.

After the National Finals Competition this past weekend in Atlanta wrapped, we got together to do our post-competition review and found a scoring discrepancy in the sorority results. After looking at it and looking at it AGAIN, we determined there isn’t a definitive resolution.

Sprite is all about preserving the honesty and integrity of this competition. Because the scoring discrepancy can’t be resolved and due to the really tight margin between the first and second place sorors, we feel that the only right thing to do is to name both Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., Tau Chapter & Zeta Tau Alpha, Epsilon Chapter, co-first place winners of the Sprite Step Off.

With these revised results, we’re gonna increase Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., Tau Chapter’s scholarship prize to $100K, consistent with what Zeta Tau Alpha also got for their first prize winnings.

Thanks again to everyone who helped make The Sprite Step Off happen. And to one last stroll in the name of unity...

I bet if nobody made a big stink about this then there wouldn't have been an issue. I swear my peoples' priorities are all out of wiggity whack. Schools are being closed and they trippin cuz they lost a step off. Come on Son. Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate

The Chickens Come Home To Roost

Shout out to Zeta Tau Alpha for gettin their Tiger Woods on at the Sprite Step-Off. Tiger shocked the world by winning the Masters and the Zeta ladies shocked the world by winning a step show. You would think Buck Nasty was at the show, the way the certain people have been hatin. I say congrats. They worked hard and nobody expected them to win. They didn't make a mockery of stepping and put on a good show.

I understand that the argument that stepping comes from African traditions and that it should be kept within the Black community, but that doesn't mean other races shouldn't be allowed to learn about it. As always people can be over critical about the wrong things. For people to say that White people shouldn't step, they are being close minded, have double standards, and are pretty darn ignorant. Its not like the sorority came out in black face and clowned stepping. This is another example of people not being able to move on from the past.

Road to Redemption

The countdown is down to less then a month to deployment. Making my second trip to Iraq. I think I'm going to watch the 25th hour the night before I ship out. A deployment seriously feels like doing a bid, without the bars. I'll be lifting weights and reading books. Sorry, no converting to Islam. The time leading up to leaving, being in Kuwait, and the first month in country are the hardest parts. Once I get into a routine then I'm good to go. Just like before, there will be drama before I leave. Should have got a divorce a while ago, but the kids got the best of me. These upcoming 12 months should be pretty interesting.

I seriously can't stand women who use their children as pawns. It's no secret that I wasn't the model husband, but at the end of the day I always worked to support my family. I swear my soon to be ex wife makes me want to blow up like a Trinity Squash player, but I'm gonna play it cool. I'm pretty sure I will hear plenty more "you ain't sh*t" in the future. Ah well guess being civil got thrown out the door.