How things change

I will never diss Whitney Houston, mainly because I don't want to get jumped by my momma and my auntie. She was their Beyonce, well with a much better voice and more talent, but yall get the point. I had such a crush on her back in the 80s when I saw her in the I wanna dance wit somebody video. Time to let it go Whitney. Damn you Bobby Brown, damn you. Let this be an example of what happens when you destroy your body with drugs, cigarettes, liquor and living the fast life.

Floacist

Feelin the music but not the album cover. I think she looked better with weight and hair on her head. But that's just me. Fantasia isn't the finest thing to me, but she sho can sang so i guess its all about the sound and not the image. But hey I'm no Denzel myself.

Saying Goodbye......

Had to borrow this from @MiyaBailey

They say everything comes to an end...people come and go out your life like seasons...the change all humans need for rebirth... And birth hurts... A pain we never look foward too... The pain of saying "goodbye" Life takes us in different directions.... People grow apart and emotions don't stay the same....letting go and moving on can be beautiful yet saying "goodbye" is the pain we all run from....wisdom sets in after mistakes are made...change creates a new you.... Goodbye.
Until the next time, live life abundantly.

Pursuit of Happyness

The one thing about being Iraq is that you get to spend a lot of time alone with your thoughts. Now this can be a good or a bad thing. Self analyzing is always good, but an idle mind can also be the devil's work shop instead of God's factory. Sometimes I think about the effect that my immaturity and bad decisions have had on my soon to be ex wife. Believe it or not, at one point in my life I was an "Ain't Shit Nigga." I did a lot of stuff to her that I am not proud of. I think about what the next dude she has a relationship will have to deal with because of me.

It doesn't take me long to figure out because I've had to deal with the same issue with women that I've been involved with in the past. I also have had actions and reactions that were the result of past relationships. Last summer a very good friend of mine told me that I sabotage my happiness. 27 at the time, I hadn't figured something that simple out. A good thing could come and slap me in the face and I'll tell it to keep it moving because I didn't feel like I deserved it. Just like many people, I too have let other people decide whether or not I will be happy.

We all try to lie to ourselves and say that we won't live in our pasts, but we are creatures of habit. After getting burned by the hot stove enough, you will quit touching it. Same with relationships. After enough heartbreak you will shut down and make yourself unavailable to new people that come in your life. But heartbreak is the beautiful thing about life. If everything was perfect and went right, life would be boring. Pain keeps you mentally agile and keeps life interesting. The goal is to not let it hinder you from moving forward. Sometimes for you to grow, that person you are dealing with has to go. Keep the good lessons and throw out the bad. Making somebody pay for the mistakes of somebody else is never cool. Its kind of like going to the drive through and the person at the window says you have to pay for the lunch of the person that was in front of you and is long gone. Until the next one, live life abundantly.

Runaway

How Kanye feels about the bird is how I feel about a certain somebody. I had a long blog in mind but I'll keep this one simple

Flawed

It took me a while, but I realized that I am a very flawed individual. I make a lot of mistakes and there were times that I went left when I should gone right. My desire to please people left me empty a lot of the times. If it meant lying I did it, if it meant going broke I did it and the choices that I made when dealing w/ women were sometimes questionable. Many times I just did too much or not enough. I figure that if doing wrong got me in some of these fucked up positions, I'm going to try and see what doing right will get me. At the end of the day I just want to live a simple life; watch my kids grow up and grow old with my lady. Sabotaging my happiness will not get me there. Until the next time, live life abundantly.

Keeping it real

I see its been a while since I emptied my brain on here. A lot has changed since I last posted something. I'm still in this shit hole called Iraq. I moved to a new location a few months back. My work hours have increased as well as my stress level. My gym time decreased drastically and I'm only averaging about one full meal a day so I've lost 10 lbs. I go on RnR and I can't wait. I need it, because I'm burned out. When I get back I'll have 3 months left in country when I get back.

For once I'm actually looking forward to the future. I usually live day to day because thinking about my career, my kids, my impending divorce, and a certain somebody (who shall remain nameless till my divorce is final) was just getting to be too much. I have to tell myself everyday that I just need to go w/ the flow and quit making my own plans because in the end it will be up to the Good Lord.

I know one thing is for certain, it feels damn good to have a person in my life that i can be 100% honest w/. For the longest time I had issues w/ trust because I was always worried about the consequences. I used to lie to my soon to be ex wife on a regular basis because I just didn't want to deal w/ her attitude. A lot of people kill their relationships with other people because they don't know that impact out weighs intent. You can mean one thing, but it can be perceived differently.

I may not have it all the way together but I win more than I lose and that's all that matters. Well until the next time I decide to put in my random 2 cents, live life abundantly.

Oh yeah, the reasoning behind the pic is that that is my image of what a partnership should be. Two people loving each other, and not constantly attacking each other because of insecurities.